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[pagekaren]

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motiontocompel

[pagekaren]

(From here.)

You know, I did ask him about the pizza once. Because I can't help myself.
All he did was smile and say "it's the nostalgic tomatoes."

[motiontocompel]

Okay, see, I wouldn't have said that, but it does sort of make sense to me now that you mention it.

[pagekaren]

Well you know I need the Full Foggy translation!

[motiontocompel]

I think it might have something to do with the tomatoes being over-ripe. Like, bottom-of-the-box tomatoes. All banged up and shriveled.

[pagekaren]

Well, I can see that. And now I feel bad for razzing him about his pizza.

[motiontocompel]

No! What? Never feel bad. Razz him more! Call him wrinkly old tomato boy! He deserves it!

[pagekaren]

Well now I'm absolutely going to call him wrinkly old tomato boy.
I'll tell him we came up with a great new moniker for him.

[motiontocompel]

And then I'm going to tell him it's not because of the pizza that he's got that nickname but because he has a habit of changing in front of people.

[pagekaren]

Oh noo. Now that's a mental image that's going to horribly linger.

Make sure I'm around when you say it so I can see the face he makes.

[motiontocompel]

We'll snap a pic for posterity.

[pagekaren]

Sounds like the perfect new contact picture for both of our phones.

[motiontocompel]

How did we even get here? Weren't we talking about therapy?

[pagekaren]

Therapy?
Nah, that doesn't sound like us.

[motiontocompel]

But then who will unravel our weird sexual fantasies? Certainly not Matt.

[pagekaren]

I don't know, he could use some new content for Sunday confession.

[motiontocompel]

How scandalous are our stories that he has to confess them? Unless that's his reaction to how sexy our fantasies are...

[pagekaren]

He's Catholic! Pretty much anything pre-marital is going to up the scandal factor for the clergy.
Also the fact that it's been a while is upping the scandal for the fantasy.

[motiontocompel]

Yeah, tell me about it. I was telling Marci and she was laughing at me. Of course she's got no trouble in that department but she did admit she misses my skills so I guess maybe we're all suffering some.

[pagekaren]

I feel bad for laughing at the fact that she laughed at you.
Nice of her to admit that, though.
I've considered downloading tinder and going out in Jersey City.

[Karen's biggest issue in that department is worrying about getting people caught up in the shit show her life turns into on a regular basis.]

[motiontocompel]

Okay, talk about living dangerously. Although it might be preferable to dating in town. Maybe. Tough call. Are you just looking for a quick thing or what?

[pagekaren]

Yeah, it's a real "could go bad either way" situation.
I don't know that I'm really built for quick things anymore. But it does feel like the safer option.
Maybe I'll just buy a new vibrator and call it a day.

[motiontocompel]

Only if you sing "You've Got a Friend in Me". On the other hand, you could have a friend in you. But only if you promise not to sing "You've Got a Friend in Me."

[pagekaren]

Well now that's definitely going to be in my head if I try to buy one and I'll be laughing at my computer like a lunatic.
That almost sounded like an offer.

[motiontocompel]

It's not not an offer.

[pagekaren]

Huh.
I'm not opposed?
Not being able to sing You've Got A Friend In Me might be a deal breaker, though.